i saw a slam poet the other night. she captivated me.
i do — andrea gibson
I do , I do , i do
I do, I do i do
i do
but the motherfuckers say we can’t
cuz you’re a girl
and i’m a girl
or at least something close
so the most we can hope for is
the nuns of reunion in vermont
but i want churchbells
i want rosary beads
i want jesus on his knees
i want to walk down the aisle
and see the patriarches smile
that’s not true
but i do want to spend my life with you
and i wanna know 50 years from now
when you’re in a hospital room
getting ready to die
when visiting hours are for family members only
i wanna know they let me in
to say goodbye
cuz i’ve been 50 years memorizing
the way the lines beneath your eyes
form rivers when you cry
and i’ve held my hand like an ocean at your cheek
saying baby, flow to me
cuz fifty years i’ve watched you grow with me
fifty years of you never letting go of me
through nightmares and dreams
and everything in between
from the day i said buy me a ring
buy me a ring that will turn my finger green
so i can imagine our love is a forest
i wanna get lost in you
and i swear i’d root
like a wildflower
every hour for fifty years i was with you
and that’s not to say we didn’t have bad days
like the day you said that check-out clerk is so sweet
and i said i’d like to eat that check-out clerk
and you said honey that’s not funny
and i said baby and maybe you can take a fucking joke
every now and then
so i slept on the couch that night
but when morning came you were laughing
yeah there were times we were both half in
and half out the door
but i never needed more than
the stars on your grin
to lead me home
for fifty years you were my favorite poem
and i’d read you every night
knowing i might never understand
every word but that was ok
cuz the lines of you were
the closest thing to hold me i’d ever heard
you’d say
this kind of love
has to be a verb
we are paint on a slick canvas
it’s gonna take a whole lot to stick
and if we do, we’d be a masterpiece
and we were
from the beginning
living in towns that frowned at our hand-holding
folding their stares like hate-notes into our pockets
so we could pretend they weren’t there
you said fear is only a verb if you let it be
don’t you dare let go of my hand
that was my favorite line
that and the time when we saw two boys
kissing on the street in Kansas
and we both broke down crying
cuz it was Kansas and
what are the chances of seeing
anything but corn in Kansas?
we were born again that day
i cut your cord
and you cut mine
and the cords of time played
like a…. hope
like we could feel the rope unwind
the noose of fear loosening
loosening from years of
people like you aren’t welcome here
people like you cannot work here
people like you cannot adopt
so we had lots of cats and dogs
and once even a couple of monkeys
who we’d taught to sing
hey, hey, we’re the monkeys
you were crazy like that
and i was so crazy about you
that at nights you couldn’t sleep
i’d lay awake for hours
counting sheep for you
and you would rewrite the rythm
of my heart-beat
with the way you held me in the morning
resting your head at my chest
i swear my breath turned silver
the day your hair did
like i swore marigolds grew
in the fold of my eye-lids
the first time i saw you
and they bloomed the first time
i watched you dancing to the tune
of the kitchen kettle in the living room
in a world that could’ve left us
hard as metal
we were soft as nostalgic together
for 50 years we feathered wings
to white to be prayed
and we flew through days strong
and days as fragile as sandcastles
in high tide
you would fold your love into
an origami firefly
and throw it through my passage-ways
to all my hidden chambers
where it would..
every trapped door
my heart is open
because of you
because of us
i do, i do, i do
wanna be in that room with you
when visiting hours are for family members only
i wanna know they let me in
i wanna know they let me hold you
when i sing
i’m so in love with you
baby i’m so in love with you
goodbye
